Chapter 495

When you’re a baby, it would be stranger if you could control your bladder.

At seven? You’re still in kindergarten. These things happen. In elementary school, it would be a little embarrassing, but it wasn’t unheard of in the lower grades.

But I was twenty-seven.

The media of the twenty-first century were falling over themselves to call me a new hero, while the martial artists of Murim called me the Fire King’s heir and a rising star destined to change the face of Murim.

And yet…

Fuck.

I’d shit myself. At twenty-seven. Not peed myself—shit myself. In front of Mungyeong, no less.

Ah, ahh. Anastasia!¹

“……Take your time cleaning up and come back.”

After a long silence, Mungyeong left me with those words.

He seemed less concerned for me than he was about getting shit on his short sword. That damn old man.

Every time I thought about what had just happened, I wanted to log out and never return to Murim again. To hell with Dark Heaven and everything else.

Should I just leave Murim altogether?

I was sitting by the water, seriously considering it, when someone approached with a smile.

“Captain. What are you doing here all by your—”

The moment I recognized him, I swore at him with all my heart.

“Hyuk Mujin, you son of a bitch.”

“Why are you swearing at me all of a sudden?”

“Stay out of my sight for a while. Please.”

“Even if you’re the Captain, that’s going too far. You wouldn’t spit in a smiling man’s face, would you?”

“Khack—ptui!”

“Gah!”

Mujin barely dodged the glob of phlegm. He looked me over as though I’d lost my mind.

“What happened to make you act like this?”

“Nothing happened. So shut up and get out of my sight.”

“That doesn’t quite add up.”

“Want me to put your arms and legs where they don’t belong?”

Because of the water that bastard had brought me, I’d lost both stat points and my dignity.

I was barely keeping my fist to myself because I knew Mungyeong was the real culprit.

Mujin, who had no idea what had happened, looked baffled.

“Good grief. Anyone would think I’d made you shit your pants.”

“…!”

“What was that reaction?”

“…Nothing. Why are you here?”

He gave me a suspicious look, then pointed toward the people in the distance.

“We’ve mostly finished sorting everything, but something’s odd.”

“Odd? What?”

“There are fewer imugi² bones and scales than we expected. I think you’d better come see for yourself.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Perfected Being Hyeongong³ is furious that there’s so little for an imugi that size. He’s combing the area like he’s hunting for lice. He says if someone stole any, he’ll find the culprit on the Primordial Heavenly Venerable’s⁴ honor.”

“……”

What was he, Detective Kindaichi?⁵

He must have completely lost his mind after helping with the Taiji Wisdom Sword just to obtain some bones, only to think someone had snatched them away.

The more I listened, the more absurd it seemed, so I asked Hyuk Mujin,

“How could anyone steal it? And it’s not like only a little went missing. It must be well over a thousand geun.⁶ How could anyone hide that without us noticing?”

“Exactly. Hardly anyone even knows about this place—”

Mujin broke off and turned to me.

“But how did you know?”

“Hm?”

“How much was missing. You said it must be over a thousand geun.⁶”

“Just a rough guess. They’ve been making a racket over there for a while.”

I answered as calmly as I could, but I felt a sudden stab of guilt.

Because…

He’s sharp. I need to watch what I say.

The culprit Perfected Being Hyeongong had sworn to find was me.

Just thinking about the haul piled up in my Inventory made me feel full.

Come to think of it, I did take a lot.

It had been easier than lying in bed playing with my smartphone.

The Water God Dragon’s corpse was enormous, and I’d worked on more of it than anyone else, sweeping the choicest parts into my Inventory as I went.

The sharpest tailbone. The unusually hard scales around its neck. Even some flesh, just in case.

Pile up everything I’d smuggled away, and it would dwarf a decent-sized manor.

“……Why are you smiling so contentedly?”

“Me? What smile?”

“Just now. You looked incredibly shady.”

Apparently, my delight at pulling off the perfect crime was written all over my face. I straightened my expression.

“I wasn’t smiling.”

“……”

“Anyway, leave them to it. Go get ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“To head back. You want to live here forever?”

People we could trust would move the sorted remains of the Water God Dragon discreetly, a little at a time.

Most of them would go to the Jin Family of Taiyuan.

That’ll be a huge help in the battles ahead.

I got to my feet. Mujin was already running off in the distance, almost before I’d finished speaking. Watching his back, I called out inwardly.

Inventory open. Summon.

Shhk.

At the command, the Water God Dragon’s bones, scales, and flesh appeared in my hands. I couldn’t help smiling.

Item appraisal.

Ding.

System

Item Window

Water God Dragon’s Bones

Type: Material
Grade: Supreme Peak
Restriction: Only a Master Artisan can forge them.

Description: The bones of the Water God Dragon, an imugi² that lived for countless years. They are exceptionally strong and contain an unknown, mystical qi. A craftsman who has reached the proper realm may be able to draw out their true power.

Although there were slight differences, the System’s description of the scales was similar.

They, too, were Supreme Peak materials of exceptional strength with mystical qi inside them. As for the flesh, eating it regularly over time could increase internal energy and stat points.

This is like winning the lottery.

But the real jackpot was something else.

If the bones and scales were Lotto tickets and the flesh an annuity lottery, this was the American Powerball. The prize was on another scale entirely.

My heart pounding, I took it out of the Inventory.

Item appraisal.

Ding.

System

Item Window

Water God Dragon’s Origin Essence

Type: None
Grade: None
Restriction: None

Description: The Origin Essence of the Water God Dragon, an imugi² that lived for countless years. Though damaged by magical power, it is a kind of inner core extracted according to the Water God Dragon’s will. It holds an immense quantity of exceptionally pure qi and is unlike any ordinary elixir. However, if you cannot withstand the qi within it… Further details omitted.

That’s incredible.

I carefully stroked the Water God Dragon’s Origin Essence in my hand.

That last line was ominous, but this was the greatest thing I’d gained from the trip to Hubei.

Unlike any ordinary elixir… Just how powerful is it?

Having been contaminated by magical power, it couldn’t contain as much qi as the Water God Dragon had possessed at its peak. Even so, the amount had to be enormous.

The Water God Dragon had lived for over five hundred years. By simple calculation, that meant it had accumulated at least ten jiazi⁷ of qi.

From that perspective, the reduction in the Origin Essence’s power was practically a blessing in disguise.

Pour too much water into a small vessel, and it overflows.

As the final line of the item description suggested, even I would burst like a balloon if I tried to take in that much qi all at once.

The question is when and where to use it.

Several faces came to mind. One old face in particular kept returning.

Old Master.

Jeok Cheongang hadn’t come to mind simply because he was old.

Strangely enough, it was because of Mungyeong’s poison.

After Seven-Step Soul-Chasing Powder had cost me ten precious stat points, and a severe stomachache had made me shit myself, a thought had struck me.

If Seven-Step Soul-Chasing Powder did this much… What condition must Old Master be in after being poisoned by the Formless Ultimate Poison?

Seven-Step Soul-Chasing Powder was undoubtedly an extreme poison, but it wasn’t enough to threaten the life of a Supreme Peak master.

The Formless Ultimate Poison that had struck Jeok Cheongang in Henan was far more toxic. Seven-Step Soul-Chasing Powder couldn’t compare.

Even the Luoyang Strange Physician, one of the most renowned physicians in the world, had no answer and had advised us to seek the Divine Physician. And because the poison had already spread so far, we’d needed the Myriad-Poison Ring as well.

Fortunately, the Thousand-Year Snow Ginseng let us finish treating him…

But had he really recovered without any significant aftereffects?

I stared at the Water God Dragon’s Origin Essence, doubt and worry mingling in my mind.

Perhaps this was an item whose purpose had been decided from the very beginning.

“Little Brother!”

Inventory open. Store.

I hurriedly put the Water God Dragon’s Origin Essence back into my inventory at Jin Wikyung’s shout from behind me, then turned around with an awkward smile.

“Yes, I’m coming!”

Today had been a day of many satisfying gains.

Yet something weighed on my heart, and for some reason, my stomach felt as though it were twisting.

Grrrggg.

“…Sigh.”

Oh. The status abnormality still hadn’t worn off.

Humans were not the only creatures that settled near water. Animals did too.

Birds nested along the cliffs above the broad waters of Dongting Lake. Wild boars, foxes, wolves, and even tigers lived there as well.

If Dongting Lake below the cliffs was territory permitted to humans, then the cliffs above belonged to the animals.

It was a peaceful place untouched by human feet.

So the great tiger, king of that place, was displeased to find an uninvited guest had arrived.

• Grrrrrrr.

Irritation rumbled through its sharp teeth. Its nose flared ceaselessly, following the human scent that still lingered in the air.

Its keen sense of smell soon found the source.

• Grrr.

At the edge of a sheer cliff, the great tiger spotted the intruder and snorted.

It had wondered what sort of creature had the nerve to come here. The answer was smaller and shabbier than it had expected: an old human who hardly looked worth a single bite.

Ssshhk.

Its body, weighing several hundred geun,⁶ moved nimbly toward the old man. It was at that very moment.

“So there was a tiger.”

• ……!

The tiger stopped short in its silent approach.

The old man had risen on his short legs and was staring straight at it.

“You’re old too, I see.”

• Grrr.

The tiger bared its teeth. The old man only gave a short laugh.

“Quiet now. Come here and keep this old man company.”

• Raaaargh!

“You striped mutt, you want to die? I said come here.”

The tiger flinched.

It couldn’t have said why, but every hair on its body stood on end. It approached the old man with uncertain steps.

When the wrinkled hand gently scratched its chin, it felt good despite itself.

• Prrrrr.

Watching the great tiger purr, the old man—Fire King Jeok Cheongang—murmured softly.

“Yes. I’ve already grown old.”

The sky above the cliff was clear. His heart was dark.