Chapter 532

The young man thought long and hard.

Where did it all go wrong?

Was it when he’d forced down the dumplings someone had bought? Or when he’d ignored the dull ache in his stomach and dozed off while standing guard?

He couldn’t say where or how things had gone wrong. But one thing was certain.

Boom!

The thunderous roar that had suddenly erupted the moment he entered the privy had ended everything for him.

“Ahhh, so warm…”

His Captain had once told him that giving up made things easier.

He had been right. The pleasure was heavenly, and warmth like a mother’s embrace spread through the young man’s lower body.

So why were tears running down his cheeks?

Why else? Fuck.

He’d shit himself. He’d actually shit himself.

In the privy of a large inn on a crowded main street.

It was an expensive inn that only people with money to spare could afford to enter. The partitions between the privies offered a little comfort, but they didn’t change the fact that he could never leave like this.

If anyone finds out what happened, I’m finished.

His spine prickled and his insides twisted at the thought.

Strip a martial artist of his pride and martial arts, and all that remained was skin.

He’d sooner fight a cruel fiend in a life-and-death duel than be discovered like this and have the story spread.

What do I do?

The greatest dilemma of his life.

His pants and underwear had to go. The leather shoes he’d recently splurged on were already beyond saving.

What if he took everything off, pulled his shirt over his face, and ran across the main street as fast as he could?

I’d die.

In Murim, it was practically legal to beat a man to death for sprinting down the main street with everything dangling.

Every passing martial artist would rush out and start swinging their weapons. He might even receive an attack worse than anything a Dark Heaven fiend could unleash.

Then I’ll have to ask someone for help. An inn attendant, maybe.

That was better. If he called an attendant over and slipped him a few silver nyang,¹ the man would bring him a cloth to wipe himself down and some clothes.

If the attendant knew who he was, it might cost extra, but that was still cheaper than a funeral.

What about the others…? No. I can’t let Captain or Gung Gibang see me like this!

Hyuk Mujin made a solemn vow.

Unfortunately, his traveling companions were more persistent than venomous snakes. If they got hold of a weakness like this, they’d tease him for ten years at least. Maybe twenty or thirty.

No, they would probably keep going until the very moment Hyuk Mujin was on his deathbed.

“Mujin…”

“Oh, you Hyuk bastard!”

“Heh heh. You arrived right on time, Captain. And Great Hero Gung.”

“Sob. Of course I had to arrive on time! You were late that day and shit your pants, but I’m not going to be late!”

“Rest easy, Hyuk. You can stink up the place behind the folding screen all you want now.”

“…Please stop.”

A miserable end, even to imagine.

For a moment, he considered asking an attendant to fetch Cheongpung from their lodgings. But that would be digging his own grave.

“Wow! This is the first time I’ve seen someone who shit his pants! At first, I thought you were a snake! You’re a Thousand-Year Dung-Horned Snake that looks just like Mimi!”

“Wait. Cheongpung! Wait!”

“Stay here. I’ll go get the others! Excuse me! Daoist from Wudang! Someone I know shit his pants over here…”

“You fucking bastard!”

He’d be a hundred times better off walking around with a sign around his neck that read I Shit My Pants.

Hyuk Mujin was trembling from the chills brought on by the horrifying images filling his mind when it happened.

Rattle.

The door opened, and he sensed someone’s presence.

Hyuk Mujin’s eyes flew open, and he cleared his throat.

“Ahem. Ahem.”

When no one answered, he coughed louder.

“Ahem! Ahem! Is anyone there? Cough, cough!”

“Hm?”

At last, a response. Hyuk Mujin swallowed and forced his voice into a dignified tone.

“Are you an inn attendant?”

Someone outside answered. The young man’s voice was soft, but he spoke with the easy familiarity of someone addressing an inferior.

“You seem to be looking for an attendant, but unfortunately, I don’t have time to worry about that. You heard it yourself, so you know there’s quite a commotion going on.”

How could Hyuk Mujin not have heard? That damned crash was the reason he was in this mess. The building hadn’t collapsed, but everyone seemed busy dealing with the damage.

At least someone’s still coming to the privy in the middle of all this.

Just as the thought crossed his mind, the man said, “Well, I’ll leave you to it.”

His presence began to recede.

Hyuk Mujin’s heart dropped.

“W-Wait! Just a moment!”

“Hm?”

“Sorry, but could you help me? I really need help.”

“Well, I’m busy myself.”

“A small problem has come up.”

“If it’s small, you can take care of it yourself.”

“Wait! Hyung!² Father! Benefactor!”

After a short silence, the voice returned.

“Did you shit yourself?”

Did you shit yourself? Did you shit yourself? Did you shit yourself?

The question echoed in Hyuk Mujin’s ears. He answered through tears.

“Sniff. I did.”

“The big one or the small one?”

“……”

“Good grief. Both?”

“Urgh. Sob…”

The man outside muttered, “I suppose taking care of the big one takes care of the small one, too.”

“Please. Please help me.”

“If I see an attendant on my way, I’ll tell him.”

“C-Couldn’t you bring me something now? It might be dry by the time an attendant gets here!”

“…That’s disgusting. I have someone to meet, so I’ll be going.”

“W-Wait!”

Desperate, Hyuk Mujin squeezed his eyes shut.

“I-I’m Hyuk Mujin! You seem to be a martial artist too, Brother. Help me this once and keep quiet about it, and I’ll never forget the favor!”

“Hyuk Mujin? The Blazing Flame Divine Dragon’s little toe?”

“…That’s me. But I’m his right arm, not his little toe.”

Hyuk Mujin’s vision went dark. He’d guessed the man was a martial artist, but he hadn’t expected him to recognize the name so quickly.

At least he’d stopped the man from leaving.

“Coincidence or fate? I’m not sure. Interesting.”

“…?”

Flap.

Just as Hyuk Mujin was wondering what he meant, a silk outer robe fluttered down over his head, accompanied by a low chuckle whose meaning he could not understand.

Hyuk Mujin caught the robe and stammered his thanks.

“T-Thank you.”

“Clean yourself up and come out. I’ll give you a chance to repay the favor.”

“Um. Do you happen to know our Captain…?”

“We’ve never met. But I doubt the Blazing Flame Divine Dragon will treat me poorly.”

The soft voice continued.

“Not when I’m the benefactor who helped his little toe—or rather, his right arm.”

“…!”

Hyuk Mujin didn’t know who the man was, but he knew he’d gotten himself into something serious.

It was too late for regrets. His face stiff, he asked, “Is that why you gave me the robe?”

“Why? Have you changed your mind? Then I’ll throw the robe back—”

“If we’re doing this, could you get me some clothes to wear too? Wiping myself down won’t be enough.”

“……”

Gowolru.

That was the name of the luxurious three-story inn.

An inn that large must have dealt with trouble often. The moment we stepped inside, the owner came toward us as if he’d been waiting, with a dozen or so hired martial artists in tow.

His face was grim.

“I don’t know who you are, but even young heroes of the martial world must pay for the damage they cause—”

I cut him off.

“First, you have my sympathies. How much will the repairs cost?”

“What?”

“The repairs.”

“…About two hundred silver nyang.¹”

“Then let’s make it three hundred,¹ including compensation for everything else.”

“What?”

At most, part of the third-floor railing and wall had collapsed.

The owner had gone out on a limb and asked for two hundred nyang,¹ only for me to counter with three hundred. From his perspective, he probably had no idea what kind of person I was.

But I had no qualms about offering an enormous sum.

The reason was simple.

It wasn’t my money.

“Put it on the Hwangbo Family’s tab. If that Lesser Family Head bastard gives you trouble when you go to collect, tell him Jin Taekyung sent you.”

“How am I supposed to say— Wait. Jin Taekyung?”

The owner and the hired blades, who had been studying me suspiciously, opened their eyes wide.

“J-Jin Taekyung? The Jin Taekyung of the Jin Family of Taiyuan?”

“The Blazing Flame Divine Dragon! It’s the Blazing Flame Divine Dragon!”

“I have descended.”

Running an inn this size on a main street in Henan took ability. Gowolru’s owner was certainly quick on the uptake.

“Great Hero Jin Taekyung, it’s the honor of a lifetime to have you here!”

“Call it an honor for your whole family. Anyway, my throat’s been feeling a little dry…”

“I’ll bring out a feast that breaks the table legs! What are you all standing around for?”

Nothing calmed a man down like financial therapy.

The owner’s eyes had brightened as if he’d forgotten all about his anger. He hurried off with the hired blades, and a soft laugh came from beside me.

The sound alone made my ears itch. I turned toward it.

“What?”

Dagger Hidden Flower Ju Hwaran looked at me with eyes like forget-me-nots.

“Nothing. I was just thinking about last time.”

“Last time? Ah.”

“You haven’t forgotten, have you?”

“Of course not.”

The dispute between the Yongbong Escort Bureau and the Zhongnan Sect.

I’d stumbled into it on my way to Sichuan to seek treatment for Jeok Cheongang. After putting a stop to the Taeeul Merciless Sword’s attempt to settle things by force, I’d even taken part in the negotiations.

I uprooted two or three of Zhongnan Sect’s foundation pillars back then.

Hwaran was clearly remembering it too. Her eyes shone softly as she looked at me.

“It hasn’t been that long, but it feels like ages.”

“It does. Strange, isn’t it?”

The strange part was how hard I was finding it to look the person I was talking to in the eye.

“Why do you keep looking away?”

“I’m cross-eyed. I’m looking straight at you.”

“Pfft.”

“W-Why are you laughing?”

Had I said something wrong?

Hwaran smiled at my confusion.

“You really haven’t changed, Great Hero Jin. Not a bit.”

“You haven’t changed either, Young Lady Ju…”

Something else nearly slipped out, but I managed to hold it back.

The several pairs of narrowed eyes watching us from beside me helped.

I pretended to cough and sent a Sound Transmission.

—Gib, what are you staring at? Want a hole punched through your solar plexus?

—Ahem. Ahem.

One down.

Three more to go.

I fixed my gaze on the one who looked least useful.

—Hey.

Hak Woo, the Kunlun Cloud Dragon, was the Kunlun Sect’s finest young prodigy. I’d stepped on the top of his head and sent him tumbling down during the Star-Array Grand Banquet preliminaries.

For some reason, he’d since developed a round bald patch. He flinched when I looked at him and sent a Sound Transmission back.

—W-What is it, Fellow Daoist Jin?

—Nothing much. I thought you might have something to do.

—Hm?

—Be honest. You’re busy right now, aren’t you?

—Infinite Life Buddha.³ I’m not busy.

—I don’t think so. I think you’ve just remembered something urgent and need to leave right away.

—I have already received permission from my sect regarding today’s appointment. There’s no urgent matter that I need to attend to—

—Hey, Hak.

—Infinite Life Buddha?³

—Go. Unless you want me to pluck out every last hair on your head.

—…!

To a balding man, every hair was as precious as his life. Hak Woo finally got the message. Looking ready to cry, he turned to Hwaran.

“Um. Young Lady Ju.”

“Yes? What is it?”

“This humble Daoist has remembered an urgent matter and must leave. I’m terribly sorry, Young Lady Ju.”

“It’s all right. Please, go ahead.”

“But it’s still rude of me to—”

“I can’t walk you out very far. Take care.”

“Wait. Could you at least let me finish…”

“I’ll see you next time!”

Now that I thought about it, Hwaran seemed a little impatient.

Kunlun Cloud Dragon Hak Woo looked back and forth between Ju Hwaran and me with eyes on the verge of tears before disappearing, and my gaze naturally shifted to the two people I had yet to deal with.

“I’ll tell you now: I’m not leaving. I’m the Young Bureau Head’s personal escort.”

Song Ilseom, an escort sitting crookedly with a single sword tucked against his chest, spoke flatly.

“I didn’t ask you to. Wasn’t planning to, either.”

“Hm. I’ll take your word for it.”

Song Ilseom was publicly known as Hwaran’s escort, but he had another identity known to only a handful of people.

He was the last descendant of the Guangdong Chen Family, an iron-blooded martial family wiped out by the Demonic Cult during the Great Faction War. He was also an undefeated wandering martial artist once known as the Soul-Chasing Guest.

This guy hasn’t changed, either.

I’d been famous when we first met, but it was nothing compared to now. Song Ilseom was still as calm and prickly as he’d been back then.

Maybe that was why I liked him even more.

But the last one…

“Hungry. Food. Taking too long.”

“……”

What was with that shameless attitude?

Why had this giant, whose identity I didn’t know, followed us here? I hadn’t stopped him because I wanted to find out who he was.

Qi Sense could tell me little more than his Level and name. If I wanted to know his sect and who he was connected to, I’d have to talk to him.

“You must be pretty hungry.”

“Yes. I, very hungry.”

The giant continued with a serious expression.

“Today, only ate six meals. Feel like dying.”

“……”

Six meals? Seriously?

I didn’t know which sect he belonged to, but I’d bet Hyuk Mujin’s wrist that feeding this guy had already cost them a few foundation pillars.

Wait. Hyuk Mujin?

Come to think of it, he’d gone off to take a shit. Why wasn’t he back yet?

I’d just noticed his absence and was looking around when I heard him.

“C-Captain!”

For some reason, he sounded terribly anxious.

But I wasn’t looking at Hyuk Mujin, who had finally reappeared. I was looking at the unfamiliar man behind him.

He was smiling at me. Our eyes met, and I muttered, “Now who might that be…?”