Chapter 649

Magic and machines.

Compared to the modern world, with all its technological conveniences, the Murim was a difficult place to live.

Its unpaved roads could wreck your hips and back even if all you did was sit in a carriage.

Smartphones and Wi-Fi were out of the question, and there wasn’t any electricity. The only way to get some was to take a direct lightning strike, but trading your life for electricity was terrible value for money.

Still, I’d managed to live without any of it.

No—my life had been so precarious that I’d never had time to worry about it. After that, things had been more or less fine.

They say food, clothing, and shelter are the three essentials of life. By that measure, I’d lived pretty luxuriously as the Third Young Master of the Jin Family of Taiyuan.

Except for one thing.

I fixed a grave stare on the non-Han servant from the Inner Palace. Even being generous, he looked no older than a middle schooler.

“I’m going to ask you one thing. Think carefully before you answer.”

“Yes?”

“Are you looking down on me because I’m Han Chinese?”

His eyes went round, and he waved his hands.

“N-no, sir. How could this lowly one dare…”

“Then why did you bring me to this shithole? I’m pretty sure I asked you to take me to the latrine.”

“T-this is the latrine, sir.”

“I told you to think carefully. Lie to me again, and I’ll fill your house with shit. You’ve heard of the Beggars’ Sect in the Central Plains, right?”

“Yes? Yes. Isn’t that the sect made up of beggars?”

“Exactly. One word from me, and I can bring several thousand beggars here… Well, maybe not thousands. About a hundred. One of them, Gung Gibang, smells absolutely monstrous. They’ll shit-dismember you and all nine generations of your family. So take me to a proper latrine!”

The servant flinched at my roar, his eyes filling with tears.

“I-I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry, but this is the cleanest latrine we have.”

Damn it. I’d hoped I was wrong, but this shithole really was the latrine.

The truth I didn’t want to face made my vision go dark. Even the Central Plains hadn’t been this bad.

“These savages…”

“Sir?”

“Never mind. You can go.”

I sent the innocent servant away, stared into the narrow space full of a hideous stench, and carefully set one foot inside.

Creeeak.

The plank beneath me shrieked. Once I shut the door, I felt like I’d stepped into a chemical-warfare chamber built for one. Grim-faced, I muttered to myself.

Did Baeksang dig this trap for me?

I’d seen it plenty of times in martial-arts novels: some incredible master gets assassinated in a latrine, or something like that.

But after I checked the gaps between the planks, even that suspicion vanished. No matter how dedicated an assassin was, I couldn’t imagine one hiding down there.

Please. God. Buddha. Namu Amitabha, Guanyin, amen…

Every second felt like ten years.

It was just as I had accepted reality and was holding my breath while doing my business.

Whoosh—thud!

It happened in an instant.

I reached out on reflex and caught the object that had punched through the old door with a sharp whistle.

An arrow?

The moment I recognized it, I shot into motion like lightning.

Boom!

The door shattered, and fresh night air greeted me. But that was all.

There was nothing around me. Nothing except the cheers and musical instruments I could hear from somewhere not too far away.

Still…

Southeast.

At my level, working out where the arrow had come from wasn’t difficult. I kicked off the ground without hesitation.

Boom! Whoosh!

Wind swept over me. I sprang off a wall and landed atop the highest pavilion, with the Inner Palace spread out below.

Torches lit the grounds. People enjoyed the banquet at the training ground. Warriors stood guard everywhere.

Who the hell was it?

Even someone in the Supreme Peak realm had limits. The Inner Palace was too vast to search at a glance, and several times more people than usual were moving through it.

Unfortunately for me, the Nanman Beast Palace warriors on alert for trouble took their duties seriously.

“Southwest! On the pavilion!”

“Who goes there?”

Peeeep!

At the sharp blast of a whistle, the warriors patrolling the Inner Palace swarmed toward me like ants.

Something else arrived first.

Whoooosh! Boom!

Hmm. This has gotten a little complicated.

I looked at the arrow and spear embedded near my feet, then checked the arrow in my hand again. It was identical to the new arrivals in size and shape.

But there was one important difference I’d missed.

This is…

A small leather bundle hung from its fletching.

The moment I realized it was there, dozens of torches flared to life beneath the pavilion where I stood.

“You’re surrounded!”

“Identify yourself and surrender immediately!”

Perfect timing.

After a brief moment’s thought, I silently gave a command.

Open Inventory. Store.

Ding.

At the System’s clear chime, the arrow vanished from my hand as if it had never existed.

Unable to make out what had happened in the darkness, the warriors of the Inner Palace shouted again.

“This is your final warning! Disarm yourself and surrender!”

“Put both hands over your head! Otherwise, I’ll put an arrow through your skull!”

“…”

That was a pretty savage script. Was this what they called a local patch?

I smacked my lips at the Nanman version of the NYPD and raised both hands as instructed. Once they knew who I was, the misunderstanding would clear up quickly. A few excuses, and that would be that.

Making more trouble would only make things harder for me…

Why are they looking at me like that?

They look as though they’ve seen a ghost.

Then I realized.

Fwoosh.

A breeze blew in from somewhere. My lower half felt unusually cool tonight.

Fwoosh.

“A-ah…!”

“Good heavens…!”

Dozens of torches shone on me like spotlights.

As the warriors forgot their duties long enough to gasp, I had one thought.

I’m really fucked.

I’d forgotten to pull up my pants.

“I’m asking because I genuinely want to know.”

Namho, whom I met about half a shichen¹ later, spoke with perfect composure.

“You bastard. Are you Dark Heaven?”

“…”

“You keep doing this because you’re Dark Heaven, don’t you? Huh?”

“…”

“Of course you are. What else could you be? Why would a Murim Alliance pavilion master come all the way to Nanman, punch a Great Chieftain in the solar plexus, then climb onto a pavilion in the middle of the night with his lower half on display? You came here determined to wreck the alliance admission from the start, didn’t you? Am I wrong?”

Taishan, who was sitting at the table chewing something, shot up a hand.

“Namho, what is Dark Heaven? Taishan is curious.”

Namho gave Taishan a long, searching look before turning to Sama Pyo.

“I’m asking you from the bottom of my heart. How do I put a padlock on that goddamn bastard’s mouth?”

“Hmm.”

After a moment’s thought, Sama Pyo stood.

“I’ll get more food.”

“Good idea. But as an agent of the Hidden Shadow Pavilion with a keen eye, let me add this: don’t bring the food here. Take him to it. If I hear one more word of his bullshit, I might go insane.”

“…”

“…”

Namho was prickly even on a good day. Today, he was all sharp edges. Even oblivious Taishan looked frightened enough to apologize.

“Taishan… was wrong…”

Namho shot him a murderous glare, then steadied his breathing.

I knew my turn was coming and spoke first.

“Well… there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding.”

“A misunderstanding? What kind of dogshit misunderstanding?”

“Could you not put it like that? Just hear me out…”

“I heard everything! I heard every last bit of it! There are even witnesses! More than two hundred people saw it! Did you send Young Lady Ju here for this? Is that your thing?”

“Wow, come to think of it, it would’ve been awful if Young Lady Ju had been there. Thank God she wasn’t…”

“You little baaastard!”

Boom! Crack!

That old man was over eighty, but he sure was strong. He had smashed apart that sturdy table with one blow.

I barely stopped myself from applauding. One more provocation, and Namho looked liable to die of rage.

“Elder Nam, calm down. Calm down,” Sama Pyo said.

“Huff. Hah.”

“Deep breath in, then out. Good. Just like that.”

After soothing Namho with a look of concern that hardly suited a man of the unorthodox faction, Sama Pyo turned to me.

“Anyway, Pavilion Master, is what you just said true?”

“Yeah, damn it. There was a small misunderstanding I can’t exactly tell other people about…”

“Did you really send Young Lady Ju here for this?”

“You fucking bastard.”

How had things ended up like this? At this rate, my nickname would change to the Naked Divine Dragon.

I stared at the ceiling in despair, then finally managed to speak.

“That’s not it. I was attacked before any of that happened.”

“What?”

“Attacked?”

“Oh. Taishan knows what an attack is.”

All three of them focused on me at once. Namho’s eyes widened.

“When? Where?”

“In the latrine. I was doing my business when an arrow came flying in from outside. I ran out to find whoever shot it, and that’s how I ended up like this. I didn’t even have time to pull up my pants.”

“Then the culprit! Did you catch him?”

“Do you think I did? It was shot from far away, and there were so many people in the Inner Palace that I failed to find him.”

A dagger or poisoned needle would have made things easier. Hidden weapons like those had a much shorter range.

A bow could strike from quite a distance. That made the culprit much harder to find.

“Then why didn’t you say so from the start?” Namho demanded. “If you’d been attacked, you could have reported it to the Palace Lord immediately and had the culprit hunted down.”

He had a point. I’d considered telling them the truth. It would have been better than letting everyone think I was a pervert wandering around at night with his pants off.

But…

“Someone did shoot an arrow at me. I just don’t think it was an attack.”

“What?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Taishan knows attacks. Taishan does not know attacks that are not attacks. Explain it to Taishan.”

“Die. Please die.”

Having shut Taishan down, Namho frowned at me.

“It wasn’t an attack?”

“Yes.”

“Then there was something hidden. Tell me in more detail.”

“I didn’t notice until later, but there was something strange attached to the arrow.”

As I answered, I spread my Qi Sense over a wide area. Once I was sure no one else was nearby, I silently gave another command.

Open Inventory. Summon.

Ding.

Something settled into my hand. I drew the hand I’d kept tucked inside my robes back out, bringing with it the arrow that had flown into the latrine. Then I untied the small leather pouch hanging from its fletching.

The rolled-up leather unfurled across the table. Smaller than a child’s palm, it bore letters as tiny as sesame seeds.

Today. Insi². West Gate.

It was a missive—an invitation from someone whose identity I didn’t know.